And She Writes

The OUCH Playlist

I cannot, for the life of me, explain how this happened. Really. Maybe this is because I’m stupid and I don’t want to wake up… and that I am digging my own grave. Whatever the reason, I am happy/giggly,girly for the past few weeks. It must have been the coffee, the new sun sim, the places I’ve been to and the people I was with… maybe it was because of the books I’ve read, or the feelings I’ve felt and the memories I’ve had… Maybe it was like walking to remember. Or maybe it was because for the past month, I’ve had Manic Mondays, Tiresome Tuesdays, Windang Wednesdays, Tragic Thursdays and Fishing Fridays… Maybe, maybe not.

So on to the playlist. Yes, the name of my playlist is OUCH.
Ouch for the fact that I am stupid, very stupid. And silly. And SO ORDINARY.

But the songs are so perfect for what I’m currently feeling.

Thunder; Strange & Beautiful (I’ll Put a Spell On You); Broken; Why Can’t I?; I Miss You; It’s The Way You Make Me Feel; The Incidentals; As Long As You’re Mine; Last Request; Waiting in Vain; Foolish Games; Breathing; If You Were Mine; I’m Not That Girl; Every Little Thing; Somewhere in Between.

-        Today is a winding road that’s taking me to places that I didn’t want to go. Today in the blink of an eye I’m holding on to something and I do not know why I tried. I tried to read between the lines, I tried to look in your eyes, I want a simple explanation for what I’m feeling inside. I gotta find a way out. Maybe there’s a way out. Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer. Do you know you’re unlike any other?

-        I’ve been watching your world from afar. I’ve been trying to be where you are. And I’ve been secretly falling apart, unseen. To me you’re strange and you’re beautiful. You’d be so perfect for me but you just can’t see. You turn every head but you don’t see me. I’ll put a spell on you. You’ll fall asleep and I’ll put a spell on you. And when I wake you I’ll be the first thing you see and you’ll realize that you love me. Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first. Sometimes the first thing you want never comes. And I know that waiting is all you can do, sometimes.

-        The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight. Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time. And I am still here waiting, though I still have my doubts. I am damaged at best, like you’ve already figured it out. I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing with a broken heart that’s still beating. In the pain, is there healing? In your name I find meaning. The broken locks are a warning you got inside my head. I tried my best to be guarded; I’m an open book instead.

-        Get a load of me get a load of you, walking down the street and I hardly know you. It’s just like we were meant to be. Holding hands with you when we’re out at night; [You] got a girlfriend, you say it isn’t right. And I’ve got someone waiting too. All of this is just the beginning, we’re already wet, and we’re gonna go swimming.  Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you? Why can’t I speak whenever I talk about you? It’s inevitable, it’s the fact that we’re gonna get down to it, so tell me why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you?

-          Give me a reason why I’m feeling so blue; every time I close my eyes, all I see is you. Give me a reason why I can’t feel my heart; every time you leave my side, I just fall apart. Give me a reason why I can’t concentrate; the world is turning upside down, spinning round and round. Give me a reason why I now understand the beauty and simplicity of everything surrounding me. But you’ve got a way of spreading magic everywhere. Everywhere I go, I know you’re always there. It sounds ridiculous but when you leave the room, there’s a part of me that just wants to follow you too.

-          It’s the things that you do, so physical. It’s the things that you say, so flammable. You know I can’t resist, boy, it’s such a shame you belong to another. I don’t wanna hurt nobody, but my heart just can’t hold back.

-          It’s just the little things, the incidentals. It’s like you wouldn’t even notice when you really turn me on. It’s the little sparks that fly and then land like dynamite. It’s just the little things, pure incidentals.

-       Maybe I’m brainless, maybe I’m wise. But you’ve got me seeing through different eyes. Somehow I’ve fallen under your spell. And somehow I’m feeling this up that I felt.

-         I found that I’m bound to wander down that one way road. And I realize all about your lies, but I’m no wiser than the fool that I was before. I just want you closer, is that alright?

-         So don’t treat me like a puppet on a string, because I know how to do my thing. Don’t talk to me as if you think I’m dumb.

-         You’re always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair. Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see, this is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees. And these foolish games are tearing me apart. And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart. You’re always brilliant in the morning in smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee. Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you, you loved Mozart. And you’d speak of your loved ones as I clumsily strummed my guitar.

-         I’m finding my way back to sanity again, though I don’t really know what I’m gonna do when I get there. And take a breath and hold on tight, spin around for one more time. And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace. ‘Cause I am hanging on every word you say and even if you don’t wanna speak tonight, that’s alright with me. ‘Cause I want nothing more than sit outside heaven’s door and listen to you breathing. It’s where I want to be at.

-         You know that I want you, know that I need you…every time I see your face… But I watch you pass me by and my sky turns gray. Maybe someday you’re gonna see I’m the one for you, til then I just have to wait for my dreams to come true.

-         Every so often we long to steal to the land of What Might Have Been. But that doesn’t soften the ache we feel when reality sets back in. Don’t wish, don’t start. Wishing only wounds the heart.

-        I wish I could be every little thing you wanted all the time.

-        Will you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in? Don’t be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again. I don’t want to run away from this. I know that I just don’t need this.

I suddenly remembered my Lit104 presentation about Unrequited Love. :))